“In a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I’m the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles, filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions… plus, I gave him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.”

-J. Peterman, Seinfeld [1998]

“I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah I am pretty much not afraid of anything.”

-Phil Dunphy, Modern Family [2009]